The Moon is Down
I don’t know why I’m here, and in this moment, I’m scared of the unknown. Sometimes I can distract myself, but I’m becoming increasingly aware that I can’t deal with life the way I wish I could. It’s difficult, and I don’t understand. I feel like i’m missing something, and it’s my fault for not being able to see what it is i’ve been so blind to. There are lessons to be learned, people to say hello to. I long to do something with myself, my life, but I somehow just stay here. In this constant state of nothing. My life can be compared to a flat line on a heart monitor, and it’s sickening. Even when I’m doing something, it’s nothing and it’s been that way my entire life. Fuck, it’s been like that my parents’ entire life. I’d just like to have one answer, one clarity in life. I am going to die mediocre, just like I am going to live mediocre. You know, I don’t know why it bothers me so much, because even if I was to go off and do something incredible, one day it would all be for nothing and no one would remember my name or anything that I had done. It’s pretty depressing and with these thoughts, I find it’s hard to distract myself at all anymore. Whatever made me, I’d just like to thank you for all of this wonderful meaningless.
