I feel like a pot of water that has started to boil over, and there’s no one there to turn the burner down. I’m boiling over with pent up love, sadness, guilt and oddly enough, rage. I am at this transition point in my life and I need to move through it. It’s so hard to cope, sometimes. I find myself to be a little upset with my dad these days. It’s not because of his gender issues, no. It’s the way he’s being so selfish about everything and his point of view seems so askew these days it’s to a point where he just comes off as a little delusional. We don’t argue as much now that he’s come out to me and I suppose that is a really good thing. I don’t know how to explain how I feel very good about this situation just yet. I guess, in a weird and nonsensical way, I miss having a father father. I love my dad for who he is, no matter what, but I can’t help but be effected by his gender switch and it kind of makes me sad that I couldn’t get along with him while he was still willing to be the most important man in my life. We just got farther and farther away until he came back as a new person that I’m just not used to yet. I just have to grow from this experience and learn from it.
I can’t wait for school to start so I can actually feel things begin to move forward for me. I can’t wait to live with Evan and be free.
